Sunday, September 14, 2008

Grandma Dot's Journal

November 27: Temperature reached a high of 63. Mostly sunny. Nice for November.

Eighty-three Thanksgivings now. Today I was ready by 8:30 a.m. and waited on the porch until 9:20 for Sully to pick me up. I wasn’t supposed to bring anything, but my pies always seem to go over so well. This must sound like bragging! I made an apple, pumpkin and peach. Not one piece was left to bring home. I’m glad. I don’t like pie.

Sully has a new car. I can’t remember what kind, but it was pretty and silver. I wonder what his father would think about him driving something foreign. Sully told me that I looked nice and was glad I baked the pies. He knew Anna told me not to, but he told me secretly to bring them anyway. We had a nice talk in the car. He said that Max will be doing his residency in California. I was happy for him even though he’ll be clear across the country. Sara was promoted to a vice president and is now the manager in her division. She’s still not engaged, even though she has dated the same guy for five year. I asked about Zach. Sully said he was glad that Zach finally landed a bank job. I said that doesn’t sound like Zach. Sully didn’t say anything.

Dinner was good. Sully picked himself a pretty darn nice wife. If I would have had a daughter, I would want one like her –not that I don’t like my other daughter-in-laws. They’re pretty nice, but Anna’s a bit more sincere than the rest. She’s the only person in the family to call Sully by his real name, David. When I told her that he got the nickname because he was an amazingly moody two-year old, she said she would only call him Sully when he was in a bad mood.

Anna always asks me to help in the kitchen, so I do. Today I helped her make scalloped corn and mashed potatoes. She can never figure out why my mashed potatoes are so good. I sneak in some sour cream and put twice as much butter as she puts out for me to use. How many times have I written in this diary, complaining about the amount of potatoes I’ve made in my life? Now I look forward to it.

Everybody made it this year, except, of course, Raymond. He’s been gone for three years now, but holidays still feel strange without him. I supposed they always will now.

I was worried that my Zach wouldn’t be there today. He didn’t come last year and the entire day felt wrong. But he came today and brought a sweet little girlfriend named Claire. I can’t deny a little of my disappointment about him going into banking, but his parents are proud. I love all my grandchildren, but there’s something special about Zach. I asked him several times to play me something on the piano. He kept saying “Later, Grandma.” Finally, I told him that I wouldn’t leave until he played me something. I don’t like being a pest, but sometimes I must. He played and sang a song he’d written about his girlfriend. Of course it was beautiful. Then I asked him, “You won’t let this banking job get in the way of your music, will you?” He smiled at me. “Hope not Grandma. But like Dad tells me, I got to grow up sometime.” He said it in a way that made me sad.

When I was young and always had Thanksgiving at the house, I used to hide in the bathroom. Actually I hid in the bathroom even when it wasn’t Thanksgiving. I just needed some alone time. I always thought to myself, “If I smoked, I’d be smoking right now.” Now, I long for those days when my children were young. The noise, the action, the incessant requests. But it’s enjoyable to observe the chaos from my position now. But I still miss the craziness of that life. I even miss hiding in the bathroom. I don’t need to hide anymore. Quiet surrounds me.

I’m thankful for my kids. They all take time to visit me. Never do I want to be an obligation, but I fear that’s what I’ve become. For a person who…

Sorry, I was just interrupted and can’t remember what my last thought was. But my interruption was a nice surprise! Zach came by to drop off my pie plates that I forgot. He sat and talked with me for over an hour. I asked him why all the sudden he decided to be a banker. Then I found out that his little Claire is expecting and they are getting married in a few weeks. They were going to announce at Thanksgiving, but he decided to tell me first before telling the rest. Isn’t he a sweetie? So, that explains the job. I asked if he was going to stay in his band. He didn’t know. I told him that I was proud of him no matter what. Since his brother is in med school and his sister is an engineer, he doesn’t get as much encouragement. I love my Sully, but he’s an awful lot like his father. Zach asked me what I thought of Claire. I laughed and said she was a dish. He laughed and said he’d pass on the compliment. When he turned to leave I told him never to give up his music. He said “Grandma, I have more important things to worry about now.” I said “Zach, you have a gift from God. Don’t forget to thank Him for it.” He smiled and gave me a hug. Then he said, “I love you, Grandma Dot” and it almost made me cry, but I didn’t. I just told him that I loved him too.

I’m tired, but will go to my piano and play a song before I go to bed. Arthritis hasn't taken that away from me yet. Tonight: As Time Goes By.

Yours Truly,
Dorothy Marie

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